How to enjoy Mother's Day without Mom Liv By Grace

Do miss your mom and wonder if it will ever be possible to enjoy Mother’s Day without her?

Mother’s Day has a whole commercial season surrounding it—cards, flowers, chocolates, and other gifts aimed at moms are front and center during the weeks leading up to Mother’s Day.

Something that once was happy now feels like an assault on your heart, as if your mom being missing wasn’t enough. So can we ever actually enjoy Mother’s Day again?

I lost my mom over 11 years ago, and I always tended to feel a bit glum and moody around Mother’s Day, then I realized it was because I didn’t have any strategies for coping with the holiday. So here are 5 ideas to help you begin to enjoy Mother’s Day without Mom this year. 💛

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1. Spend time with loved ones around Mother’s Day

First let me say, I’m super introverted, so if you relate to that and need time alone, by all means, find a way to do that. I get it.

Take time to process your thoughts and feelings, and have some time to yourself. But try not to completely wall yourself away from the rest of the world.

We humans are created for each other’s company. So even if it’s just for a bit, spend time with loved ones. Maybe your spouse, dad, siblings, or best friend.

Being in the company of loved ones is important for your mental health, and you might be surprised how much in lightens your spirit.

2. Reminisce & laugh about good times with Mom

Oh, this can be so fun! I hate being sorrowful and tearful all the time when I think of missing my mom.

Of course, there are times when the grief wants to come crush me again, and I might have a good cry, but I won’t allow myself to be crushed. Oh, there are times to let it out, believe me. I still do and always will, and that’s okay.

But, oh my goodness, the happy memories are so much better to focus on. Get together with your family members and talk about the funny moments.

I remember a time in particular with Mom and my sis at McDonald’s when I was little… I can’t even talk about it without cracking up. I’m sure you have memories like that too, and those treasures are the ones to pull out and enjoy a good laugh over when Mother’s Day rolls around.

3. Treat yourself to something you would’ve given your mom

I’m going to do this one this year. I’ve done it before for Valentine’s Day, but it’ll be a first for Mother’s Day. It’s kind of exciting!

You see, on Valentine’s Day every year, my mom always gave my sister and me something special as her Valentine to us. On the first Valentine’s Day without her, it just seemed weird not to have that anymore, and sad.

So I got myself and my sis really cute nail polish sets, totally something our mom would’ve done for us. (By the way, I used credit card reward points to snag those suckers! Mom would’ve been so proud. 😆)

So what would you have given your mom for Mother’s Day? Chocolates, flowers, jewelry? Maybe you would’ve picked one of these no-cost Mother’s Day gifts, like making her favorite dessert, or writing her a heartfelt letter.

If so, then my friend, make your favorite dessert in celebration of your mama (I’m looking at you, brownies), and then let yourself enjoy it, just like your mom would want you to.

Another gift I gave my mom several years ago for Mother’s Day was a handwritten, heartfelt letter. She loved it so much and told me it was one of her most cherished possessions ever.

So I’m thinking, why not write that letter to yourself? Tell yourself how much you’re loved, how beautiful you are, and all the reasons that you’re precious, valuable, and worthy of being treasured.

OR… write a letter to your mom in heaven, telling her all the wonderful things that have happened, why she would be proud of you, and all the things you love about her.

I did this for my mom several years ago, and I found it comforting. See the letter I wrote to my mom on her anniversary in heaven here, maybe it will bring encouragement to your heart, or inspire you to write your own letter!

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RELATED: How I Lost My Mom but Not My Joy ❤️‍🩹

4. Continue a tradition you and your mom enjoyed together

It doesn’t have to be a Mother’s Day tradition. It can be anything you enjoyed doing with your mom. Maybe the movie you always liked to watch together, or a special meal you cooked together, or maybe going out shopping, or to a favorite restaurant.

Whatever it was, you can keep these traditions alive by sharing them with your loved ones.

My mom and I always went to Target and Sam’s together. It might sound silly, but we had so much fun on those trips! My sister was almost always with us, so it was her tradition too.

I have to admit that the first few trips my sis and I made to those places without Mom were tinged with sadness. It just wasn’t the same. But now we’ve been so many times, it’s one of our adapted traditions that we still carry on. And it’s fun again. 😊

5. List 5 favorite things about your mom

You could do this one lots of times over, but for now just think of a few favorites about your mom, and write them down in any order as they come to you. Here are 5 favs about my sweet mama.

Her laugh. She would get so tickled over the weirdest stuff sometimes! Her face would turn beet red, and if she started saying, “Oh, no no no!” that meant stop egging her on or she would wet her pants. 😂 Good memories. (I’m sure she would be thrilled I’m sharing this with you, by the way.)

Her caring spirit. Even with strangers. When I was a teenager, there was a lady who waited at the bus stop in the cold every morning across from the school, and my mom noticed she never wore gloves. One day Mom stopped and explained that she passed by every morning to take me to school, and she noticed she had no gloves and offered her a pair. The lady was actually offended and even got upset. But that’s exactly why I love this about my mom. It hurt her, in fact she cried, but it didn’t stop her. She reached out to people, and that’s one of my favorite things about her.

She listened. She always cared what I had to say. She would ask me specifically for updates about things that were going on that I’d shared with her. She cared as much about me as she did herself, probably more. And she always valued what I had to say. She might not have agreed, but she validated my feelings. Even as a small child she never belittled me and always made me feel I was valuable.

Her smile. One of her front teeth was a bit crooked, but she was absolutely beautiful. I always thought it gave her character and made her unique. She was self-conscious about it though, and she’d taught herself to smile so that her teeth would show as little as possible. Fighting a natural smile or laugh would make her cheekbones stand out, so I could tell when she was trying to hold back. I miss those little smiles. And the big ones too, because I loved that little tooth.

Her love. Oh, Mama. I’m so thankful for how you loved me. It really was unconditional, and I know now it was the very love of God that shown through her. She was far from perfect as we all are, but I can say this about her: I was never more sure I was loved. Her love for the Lord is something I’m still so proud of. And I’m so thankful she showed me such a true example of His love. Just realizing how grateful I am that she taught me about Jesus? That right there is enough for me to make up my mind that I’m gonna enjoy this coming Mother’s Day.

So now it’s your turn! Take a few minutes to write down your favorite things about your mama. It’s so worth it, and it’ll make it easier to find joy during the Mother’s Day season.

For more tips for coping with Mother’s Day without your mom, check out this article from Psychology Today.

Final thoughts on how to enjoy Mother’s Day without Mom

So now that you’ve got a new perspective on Mother’s Day without Mom, don’t let it just drift away. Put these 5 ideas into action and create a new mood for yourself for Mother’s Day. I’m not saying it won’t be hard, but it is very much possible! Use the strategies above to make the best of the season, and begin to actually enjoy Mother’s Day without Mom.

Happy Mother’s Day, friend! 💛